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Doula-ing Doulas: Why Support for Caregivers Matters

Writer's picture: Jill MagoffinJill Magoffin


We, as doulas, are often the pillars of strength and support for birthing parents and their families. We hold space for them during one of the most transformative experiences of their lives, witnessing profound joy or deep sorrow. But who takes care of the supporters? Just like raising a child, supporting a doula is a community affair. This post highlights the importance of building our own support networks and staying connected, especially during tough times.


The Emotional Spectrum of Doula Work

As doulas, we experience an emotional roller coaster as part of our work. We celebrate new births, witness the strong bonds between parents and their babies, and share in labor victories. These moments are incredibly beautiful and uplifting.

Conversely, we also face heart-wrenching and difficult situations. Things do not always go according to plan; sometimes, sadness overshadows happiness due to loss. Such moments can be extremely exhausting, leading to emotional burnouts that may affect our mental health.


It Really Takes a Village!


Having a support system within our community is crucial for several reasons:


  • Emotional Support: Sharing experiences, both good and bad, with other doulas can be very liberating. Knowing that someone else understands what we are going through is incredibly comforting.

  • Professional Growth: Engaging with a community of doulas allows us to learn from our peers, share best practices, and improve our skills. It also provides opportunities for mentorship and guidance.

  • Preventing Burnout: The emotional and physical demands of our job can lead to burnout. Regular check-ins, debriefing sessions, and simply having someone to talk to can help mitigate these effects and keep us grounded.

  • Shared Joy and Celebration: Celebrating the successes and joyous moments with others who understand their significance enhances our own joy and satisfaction in our work.


Understanding Doula Drop (DD)

I’ve coined the term "Doula Drop" (DD) to describe the intense emotional and physical crash that can follow a significant birth. During the intense emotions of a birth, your body releases a surge of endorphins and adrenaline. Endorphins provide an intensely euphoric feeling, while adrenaline energizes you and keeps you going through the event. Together, these chemicals create a euphoric experience. However, once the birth concludes, these chemicals can quickly leave your body. The sudden drop can make you feel confused and doubtful about the experience, even if it seemed perfect at the time. This moment, when you're left to your own negative emotions without the chemical support, is what I call "doula drop."


What Does Doula Drop Look Like?

Doula drop can manifest differently for everyone. It can appear as physical pain, extreme depression, irritability, anxiety, and fatigue. While some of these feelings are to be expected after any birth (especially fatigue), doula drop intensifies them. It can feel like a drastic shift in your mental health, turning what was a euphoric experience into one of confusion and self-doubt.


Practical Ways of Supporting Each Other


  • Regular Check-Ins: Establish a routine where doulas can check in on each other. Quick messages, phone calls, or meeting over coffee can make a significant difference.

  • Peer Support Groups: Join or form support groups where doulas can share their experiences in a safe and supportive environment. These groups offer emotional support as well as professional development opportunities.

  • Mentorship Programs: Experienced doulas can mentor those who are newer to the field. This relationship provides guidance, support, and a sense of continuity within the doula community.

  • Holding Space: Sometimes, all we need is someone to listen without judgment. Holding space for each other, allowing for the expression of emotions, and providing a supportive presence can be incredibly healing.

  • Self-Care Practices: Encourage each other to prioritize self-care. This can include regular physical exercise, mindfulness practices, hobbies, and time spent with loved ones.


The Ripple Effect of Support

Supporting each other benefits not only the individual doula but also the broader community. When we are emotionally balanced and professionally fulfilled, we can provide better care to our clients. The ripple effect of a supported doula extends to the families we serve, creating a more nurturing and positive experience for everyone involved.


Sending Love to Our Community

To all the doulas reading this, know that you are seen, valued, and loved. Your work is essential, and the compassion and dedication you bring to your practice make a profound difference in the lives of many. Take the time to connect with your village, lean on each other, and remember that it’s okay to ask for support.


Our job is not easy, and burnout is a real challenge within our community. By supporting each other, we can create a resilient network that not only sustains us through the tough times but also enhances the joy and fulfillment we find in our work.


Sending lots of love and gratitude to each of you.

Let's continue to build a strong, supportive community where every doula feels valued and supported. Together, we can make a difference—for ourselves, our clients, and the broader community.

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